Oh That I Could Speak Any Other Language

Remember that hilariously bigoted speech when 13-time Pro Bowl defensive end Reggie White stood in front of the Wisconsin Legislature and praised whites for their ability to “tap into money”, Hispanics for successfully fitting “20, 30 people into one home”, and the Japanese because they “can turn a television into a watch”? He never made it to the Danes, but I’ll take over and say: people in Denmark know how to design. And also be beautiful.

I’m going to write while I’m here. It’s the reason I’m here. This should include things on the bloggertron, too. This place.

Because here I am at Hald Hovedgaard, even though I’ve yet to pronounce it right. Currently I’m deep in what William Gibson calls soul delay, or what less authorial people call jet lag. I’ve made it from Chicago to St. Louis to D.C. to London to Copenhagen to Karup to here, this beautiful old manor on this beautiful lake. For the record, I am in room number eight. And I am beginning to wonder what sort of man or horse they were expecting when they build room eight’s door, which is surely wide enough that should I somehow split into two, or form a replica of myself while here, and then race that replica from, say, the picnic table down by the lake back to our room (eight), the two of us could tie exactly, entering side-by-side, shoulder to shoulder, and still fit easily through the door.

And before I Ambien myself silly, here’s a big fat juicy middle finger to London Heathrow Airport, for being the only airport in the universe that won’t allow a skateboard as a carry-on item. A second finger for not telling you about this rule until you’re right up there at the detector thing, ready to fall over, and they send you back downstairs through customs through check-in through check-in again, and then your Pretty skateboard doesn’t even make the Karup flight.

3 Responses to “Oh That I Could Speak Any Other Language”

  1. benjamin says:

    I agree, people in Denmark DO know how to design. I’m sorry to hear about your horrible experience at Heathrow. That sucks. What became of the board?

  2. admin says:

    the board is supposedly on the way. a very nice man promised me he’d deliver it himself.

  3. Reggie White is ridiculous! I do love that Denmarkian design though.
    - Quarter Pipes

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